Prank Wars
by xXUndiscoveredNovelistXx
Summary: Eames loves to get on Arthur's nerves, but what happens when Arthur decides to fire back? Madness of course! E/A friendship of course!
1. Chapter 1

**Writers block sucks, I hope this isn't all crap. I thought of it when I got writers block from my first story, Memories Are Meant to be Forgotten…..enjoy…I hope….**

**Disclaimer: nothing, not even Eames or Arthur, belong to me (*tear*) :'[ **

"Stop. Tapping," Arthur ordered through gritted teeth.

"What tapping, darling?" Eames asked, an innocent smile playing across his face.

He was currently tapping his pencil on the side of his desk in time with the ticks of the clock.

"_That _incessant tapping! With your pencil and desk—stop!" The young point man's eye was starting to twitch now. (Which of course was only making the forger smile brighter.)

"Oh! Oh, you mean what I'm doing right now? I hadn't even noticed," Eames joked, but still continued tapping, this time faster and louder.

"Yes that tapping! Now, stop. Tapping. Or I will rip _your head off_," Arthur growled. He glared at the forger as best he could with his twitching eye.

"As you wish, love," Eames said, trying not to laugh.

So the tapping ceased, but the humming commenced.

Arthur relaxed a bit—enough to understand what he was reading for a moment—until he heard Eames humming the Pirates of the Caribbean theme song.

_Why does he do this to me?_ Arthur thought, putting his head in his hands. His misery soon turned into anger and he threw his notebook right at the forger's head.

The corner hit him square in the temple, causing him blurred vision for a moment. Even though he had a growing headache, Eames couldn't help but smile. He loved to get under Artie's skin like this.

"Why, pray tell Mr. Eames, do you torture me like this?" Arthur whined, finally asking the question Eames wanted to hear all day.

Eames walked over to Arthur's desk, setting his notebook down. "You seemed to have dropped this, Mr. Gordon," Eames said.

"Don't avoid my question, Mr. Eames. Why do you keep torturing me?" Arthur was intent on having his question answered. He was a determined man.

"I only torture you because you make it so easy. And it's rather fun to see you squirm and watch your eye twitch the way it was," he answered, smiling. He rested his hands on Arthur's shoulders gently.

"Yeah, well I might have to get back at you for that, Mr. Eames. Watch your back!" And he got up and left the warehouse.

Eames smirked. It was going to take quite a bit to scare the forger, especially so because Eames did not take Arthur's threat (if you could call it a threat) seriously.

As Eames was walking down the hallway to his apartment when he got a text.

From Arthur of course.

_Ariadne wanted me to ask you if you want to come with us to her place for the evening, she's having some kind of celebration… are you coming y/n? _

Eames wondered why the little freak even wrote in full sentences in a text. He replied:

_course not, got better things 2 do 2nite _

Arthur didn't text back.

Their conversations tended to be short. Running out of things to talk about and or being busy with work.

Eames went back to humming as he unlocked and opened his apartment door. And inside, were tons of clowns, all coming toward him with out stretched arms.

It was like a living nightmare. He even took out his totem to make sure. Eames flipped the white poker chip and it landed on white. _Shit, this is real!_ he thought, panicking.

He ran back down the hall, down the elevator and back into the lobby of his complex. _How could he remember that?_ he thought.

Back when they first met, Cobb took them on a test run into the dream world (as he did with everyone) and Eames totally freaked out. He created his own living nightmare, a world of clowns, closed spaces, and drunk drivers. It was madness.

_Arthur, you are so dead_.

This meant war.

**So…? What'd ya think? Awful, awesome? Somewhere in between? Tell me what you thought! **


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks for the feedback! It took me a while to come up with a worthy prank for Eames, so ideas would be much appreciated! (seeing as I have another story I'm writing along with schoolwork! dammit!) Also, sorry if characters seem a little OOC…**

Eames had gone (more accurately, 'fled') to his favorite Parisian pub that night. He was thinking about how he would get back at Artie for that little stunt he tried to pull.

For a moment his thoughts wandered to the legal aspect of the prank. _Hmm…I could sue him for breaking and entering _and _attempted murder. _(He quite enjoyed stretching the truth.)

_I could always drag Ariadne unknowingly into all of this…_ Then it all came to him just like that. "Brilliant!" he said aloud, leaving the pub.

"Thanks for the flowers Arthur!" exclaimed the architect early the next morning. She walked over to Arthur's desk clutching a bouquet of white lilies.

"Flowers?" The point man looked puzzled. He didn't (and never will) send anyone flowers; he thought it a stupid cliché, along with chocolates on Valentine's Day.

"Yeah, I got them on my way here. They're beautiful, thank you!" she said, kissing the top of his head.

Eames had to contain himself as he watched the young man's cheeks flush bright pink.

"I never…" he started, until he realized that Eames was right there. He glared at the forger.

"Don't be silly Arthur, I know they're from you, it has your signature right here on the card! So I'll you at _Domaine de Chateauvieux* _at seven?"

"Uhhh…" Arthur didn't know what to say.

"Okay great! I gotta go, I'm meeting my friend for lunch. Bye guys!"

Little did either of them know that they were mere pawns in Eames's almost overly elaborate scheme of payback.

**That night….**

Eames sat at the bar with his back to Arthur's table. He'd set him up with another date half hour earlier than the time Ariadne was supposed to show up.

_This should be interesting,_ Eames thought.

He glanced at his watch. _6:55, Ariadne should be getting here soon, I should go, _he thought, getting up from the bar inconspicuously.

On his way out, he, quite literally, ran into the architect.

"Sorry Eames, I was just on my way to see Arthur," she apologised, smoothing out her dress.

"Quite alright, love," answered the forger.

"Why are you smiling like that?" she asked, furrowing her eyebrows.

"Hm?" Eames hadn't even realised it, but he dropped the smirk immediately.

"Oh, nothing, just, uh…You look dashing, darling," he quickly covered it up with a compliment.

Ariadne blushed, she was only wearing a nice top and a fancier pair of jeans. Her dark hair was tied back slightly.

"Thank you, Eames, you don't look too bad yourself," she said, waving him off.

The forger went back to smirking as he continued down the street, feeling like he'd accomplished a full day's work.

Ariadne gasped in horror as she saw that Arthur was with another woman, and he looked like he was having a good time.

_How could he have done this to me!_ she thought miserably. But she wouldn't let him win just yet. Ariadne marched over to his table, close to tears.

"Arthur Hansen** how could you do this to me!" she shouted, slapping him for extra emphasis.

People started to stare at them.

"I can't believe you'd go out with another woman on the same day you'd send me flowers! If you think I'm just someone you have wrapped around your finger, that you can just string me along, well news flash: I'm not that girl! You are such a douchebag Arthur!" Ariadne picked a champagne glass off of a passing waiter's tray and splashed it in his face.

Then she turned to the girl. _Quick say something!_ her conscious screamed. Ariadne couldn't think of anything clever to say. _Say anything! Just something rude! Call her a slut, I don't know! _

"Urgh, bitch!" And the architect slapped her too, turning on her heels to leave.

It never occurred to her that Eames had orchestrated the whole thing, that is, until he asked her about her date when she got back to the warehouse.

Arthur came back half an hour later. He met a still angry Ariadne on his way in, she stormed past him and hailed a taxi, leaving for the night.

Arthur took off his damp jacket and grabbed a towel off of his desk. He figured Eames must have put it there as a courtesy. Or to rub it in that he'd just been pranked twice in one night. By the same person.

"Thank you Mr. Eames, I really appreciated being publicly humiliated," he said dryly.

The forger winked at him. "Any time, darling."

"Why? Wait, that was rhetorical," Arthur said, remembering the clown incident he pulled, laughing.

"I have your reaction on tape!" The point man was almost doubled-over with laughter.

"Yeah well, if that ends up on YouTube, then there'll be much more to worry about than your love life!" Eames shot back, standing up.

Arthur kept laughing, until his phone rang. "Hello?"

"Oh, uh, hi Ariadne—okay, okay, I'll put you on speaker." He clicked a button and instantly the girl's voice could be heard from anywhere in the large warehouse.

"I can't believe you two did that! Why on earth would you want to pull me into your little prank war? I have no desire to be a part of it, and thanks Eames for using me to get back at Arthur for whatever he did! Yeah, I figured the whole plan out!..."

She rattled on for quite some time, and eventually, Arthur turned the volume way down so they could get on with whatever it was that they happened to be doing.

So unfortunately, the forger and the point man did not get to hear the part where Ariadne would get back at them both.

_It's on,_ she thought, smiling evilly.

*** An actual restaurant in Paris, you can look it up if you don't believe me**

**** JGL's character's last name in (500) Days of Summer**

**So? Should I continue? Review please! **

**-xXUndiscoveredNovelistXx / Leaves**


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